Grieving At Work

Grieving At Work No one knows how to absprache with grief. Losing a friend, family member or loved one affects each of us differently. Depending on your distributions-mix of employment, you may be entitled to a few days of bereavement leave, but anyone whos ever lost someone knows youll never be able to bottle up all your grief in the few days you get before you have to head back to work.Learning to deal with your grief can seem like an insurmountable task a full-time job all by itself. While we cant help take away the pain, here are some tips to help you face the idea of going back to work when youre still grieving.Step 1 Talk to Your BossBringing up a recent losswhen youre talking to your bossis probably the last thing you want to do, but letting them know whats going on is important. You dont have to go into detail. You dont even have to let them know how youre handling it.This step has a secondary purpose, too. Your boss is going to be the one who can tell you about your company s bereavement leave policy. Most companies offer a few days, either paid or unpaid, of leave. If more time is required, this is the time to have that conversation as well.Depending on company policy, you may be able to take an unpaid leave of absence after your bereavement leave is up. You wont get paid, but it ensures your job will be there when you get back.Step 2 Take the Time You NeedAs weve already mentioned, youre leid going to be able to bottle up all your grieving in the few days that are available for bereavement leave. Things you might not expect could trigger your grief and leave you a crying mess behind your desk anything from a scent to an article you come across.If what you need is a hug, ask for one. If you need a Netflix and ice cream binge, then let yourself enjoy a new show or an old favorite.Take the time to be kind to yourself, no matter what that means to you. It wont fix everything, but it will make you feel better for a few minutes. And when youre living one minute at a time, a few minutes is worth everything.Step 3 Keep Yourself BusyStaying busy, whether thats at work or at home, is one of the best things you can do for yourself while youre grieving. You dont need to take up a new hobby or throw yourself into your work or anything so dramatic. Just getting up, showering, making yourself a meal and writing an email to a friend can be enough.Dont let it make you avoid your grief you cant avoid it forever. Staying busy shouldnt be used to avoid grief. Instead, it should help you move forward so you dont stagnate in it. Its easy to let your grief hold you in one place, but staying busy keeps you going.Step 4 Be Kind to Others, TooIts hard to deal with our own grief, but its even harder for people to think of the right thing to say or the best way to help someone who is grieving. You can expect people to come to you and offer their sympathies. You can also expect them to say exactly the wrong thing. It might make you cry or it might make yo u angry, and they wont know how to deal with that, either.Be patient with them. They mean well and theyre trying to help as best they can, even if what theyre saying is entirely wrong for how youre feeling in the moment.Step 5 Ask for Help (And Accept It)Your friends, family and coworkers will probably offer some form of help when they learn of your loss. Whether theyre offering to help with work, chores, cooking or something else entirely, everyone tends to offer to help when they learn someone is grieving. Weve got three words for you Let. Them. Help.If you need help with something,ask for it. If someone offers to help with work or offers to bring you a home cooked meal, accept it. Theyve all been there, at one time or another. They all know how hard it can be to accomplish even the simplest tasks when all you can see is your pain. Take all the help you can get.Take time tofigure out if treatment would be an option to consider. If you are struggling to get through the day or just need someone to talk to, there are professionals who can help.Grief is not something that can be easily explained or experienced. The best description of grieflikens it to waves when youre swimming the ocean at first, theyre tsunamis that hit every few seconds and dont leave you any time to breathe. But as time goes on, the waves get smaller and farther apart. They never go away because the ocean is never still, but they get easier to weather as you heal and get stronger.Going back to work after a loss is never easy, but it isnt the impossible task it might first appear to be. Take things one step at a time, or one second at a time if steps seem too hard, and know it will get better with time.--Sarah Landrum is an expert career blogger and the founder of Punched Clocks, a career and lifestyle blog helping professionals create a career they love and live a happy, healthy life. For more from Sarah, follow her on social media and subscribe to her newsletter.Fairygodboss is committed to improving the workplace and lives of women.Join us by reviewing your employer